How to Preach so No One is Converted

• Preach on every doctrine that centers the attention on man rather than Jesus. Teach every doctrine that makes man the center of God's attention rather than God the center of man's devotion. Tell people only what God will do for them.
• Avoid preaching about the necessity of a radical change of heart, through the truth revealed to the heart by the agency of the Holy Spirit.
• Let your supreme motive to be popular with all people, then, of course, your preaching will be suited for that purpose, and not to convert souls to Christ.Avoid preaching doctrines that are offensive to the carnal mind, so that no one should say to you, as they did of Christ, "This is a hard saying, who can hear it?"
• Make no distinct points, and do not disturb the consciences of your hearers so that they may become truly alarmed about their souls.
• Avoid all illustrations, repetitions, and expressive sentences that may compel people to remember what you say.
• Avoid all heat and enthusiasm in your delivery, so that you never make the impression that you really believe what you say.
• Make appeals to the emotions, and not the conscience, of your hearers.
• Be careful not to testify from your own personal experience of the power of the gospel, so that you never should produce the conviction upon your hearers that you have something which they need.
• Do not stir up uncomfortable memories by reminding your hearers of their past sins.
• Denounce sin in a general way, but make no reference to the specific sins of your present audience.
• Do not make the impression that God commands your listeners here and now to obey the truth. Do not let them think that you expect them to commit themselves right on the spot to become believing followers of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• Give the impression that they are expected to go away in their sins, and to consider the matter at later time of their convenience.
• Preach salvation by grace; but ignore the condemned and lost condition of the sinner so that he never should understand what you mean by grace, and know his need of it.
• Preach the gospel as a remedy or a cure, but conceal or ignore the fatal disease of the sinner.
• Do not speak of the spirituality of God's holy law (by which comes the knowledge of sin), so that the sinner never should see his lost condition and repent.
• Make no appeals to the fears of sinners; but give them the impression that they have no reason to fear.
• Preach Christ as an infinitely friendly and good-natured being. Ignore those scathing rebukes of sinners and hypocrites which so often made His hearers tremble.
• Do not rebuke the worldly tendencies of the church, so that you should never hurt their feelings, and finally convert some of them.
• Admit, either obviously or casually, that all men have some moral goodness in them; so that sinners should never understand that they need a radical change of heart, from sin to holiness.
• Say so little of hell that your people will think that you do not believe in its existence yourself.Make the impression that, if God is as good as you are, He could not send anyone to hell.
• Make no unpleasant reference to the teachings of self-denial, cross-bearing, and crucifixion to the world, so that you should never convict and convert some of your church members.
• Make sure you avoid preaching to those who are present. Preach about sinners, but not to them. Say "they," and not "you," so that anyone should never take your subject personally, and apply it to their own life, securing the salvation of their soul.
• Preach that the new birth is something God deposits in people, not a fundamental change in the ultimate purpose of our lives.Never tell people that they must cease from serving self and serve God and do His will.
• Preach that a person can be saved without making Jesus his Lord.
• Teach that holiness is just an option and not a requirement of the gospel. Teach them that they can be Christian without becoming true disciples.
• Teach Christians that sin is a normal and natural part of their every day life and that they can never truly expect to ever overcome sin through the power of Christ.
• Preach that no Christian needs to do anything. Teach them that they are safe and heaven bound even if their lives are disobedient and rebellious.

And if you follow those guidlines you can be sure your membership roles won't be clogged with new followers of Jesus Christ. But you just may grow as a church!